A collection of stories, thoughts and good vibes from my back porch

I was inspired today by a post from a Facebook friend and fellow artist, Scott D. Wilson, to write this thought.

My dad, always concerned with my future, decided the best way for me to get ahead and be productive was to get an excellent education. He pushed me and my siblings to 'be the best.' The problem for me was I was always smarter than my teachers, and learning and excelling in school was easy for me. I've loved drawing and painting since I was a child, but my dad discouraged that as foolishness and pushed me towards academics - specifically, math and science, in which he also excelled. He never thought I could make a living as an artist, although he recognized I had a talent. I went to college for one semester and got bored quickly, and pursued other ways I thought would get my father's approval. I enlisted in the US Coast Guard, and found an 'easy' job that involved math and science but still have me a lot of free time to pursue my creative side. After the service, I spent over 3 decades in math and science fields (financial planning and opticianry).

A few months before my dad died we were in the kitchen talking, and he got up suddenly, dug around in his closet and came back with a stack of watercolor paintings I had done over the years. He was proud of them, and told me that I needed to spend more time painting. He died shortly after that and my catharsis was painting. It was in each new work I was able to express my grief and at the same time, my appreciation for pursuing excellence toward which my dad pushed me. It was a few years later I met my ‘second dad’ and another ‘brother’ who encouraged me to pursue excellence and develop my skills in painting.

Since then, I have been encouraged to pursue my passion and work to create each new painting to be better than the last one. Is it always? Honestly, no, but every ‘failure’ gives me reason to examine what went wrong or right and create another. And then another. And again – another. My second dad told me if I wanted to learn to paint, I just needed to paint. And then paint again. And then paint some more. He had a discipline of painting every day and he was a master. My brother artist, David does the same. And he is a master and getting better with each painting. Discipline, creativity, work ethic, and analytics – using math and science to create something beautiful, lasting, and desirable. I think that’s what my dad wanted for me.

So, I have never lost my child-like desire to color and doodle. I just do it sometimes in a more refined way. But every day, each work, every brush stroke is new and an attempt at something I’ve never done before. I’m not growing up, but I’m growing better, wiser, more decisive. I still want to explore, to imagine, to show someone something that’s in my mind. I want to express a feeling or a thought. I want to show the world beauty, and I want to show my heart. I’m more mature, but I refuse to grow up. I desire to keep that child-like curiosity and wide-eyed wonder of loving the world around me and stay connected to people through what I paint. I’m so grateful for those who encourage me and love me – even if I don’t grow up.